What exactly is Coaching?
Coaching is never about the life-coach; it’s always about the client.
There’s no agenda with life-coaching, the only agenda is that of the clients. THAT’s a rare freedom and a worthy, liberating experience in itself. Even if the coach did NOTHING, providing an agenda-free environment is a remarkably rare, efficient, comforting, and necessary essential for productive outcome-achievement! After all, if you seek help from someone for your outcome you’ll want to use your agenda. But if the help-provider already has a different, rigid, set agenda, how much help can they truly provide? Isn’t another form of instruction, or therapy just going to create obstacles instead of provide solutions and clarifying change? Most certainly. Coaching is not just a mere deviation of an agenda, but it’s the abolishment of an agenda altogether. The only agenda becomes the client’s agenda. In a sense, coaching provides a healthy, highly intelligent and efficient vacuum that only allows the client’s agenda to fill the space so that productive and uniquely-efficient change occurs naturally!
Who Gets Coaching?
I’m a huge fan of Ockam’s Razor: “Of two equivalent theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the simpler one is to be preferred” (William Ockam, 14th Century English scholastic philosopher). Therefore, to be simple, people who seek coaching, are simultaneously brave and successful.
Evidence of Bravery. Coaching is by NO means “who’s more experienced” . Many times the client will be MUCH more experienced than the coach; my job as a coach is to simply slightly challenge you to launch into the auspicious experiences and the supreme success you’re ready experience (it’s just around the corner) You are READY to savor the experiences, outcomes, successes to which you aspire, and deserve, and to dissolve any of the fears, anxieties, uncertainties you want to uninstall all in a direction toward where you’re already moving. You are ALREADY surging towards success and befriending the success state. After all you took the time to get a coach — that’s a MASSIVE step in the right direction. Seriously. Sounds like a sales pitch. But this is true. Getting a coach equals bravery. I’ve had clients back out saying “not sure if it’s for me”, “sounds intense”, “umm maybe later” and they delay and slip into fearfully putting some area of their life on “pause”. People who contact coaches have an interest in learning how to pause, play, fast-forward, and REWARD frames of their life experience, of their career mastery, and relationship understanding, and health goals to experience a depth of awesome new sensations and forms of success. I teach clients how to use and apply that change technology.
Evidence of Success. Getting a coach PROVES — that’s verifiable evidence — that you’re already propelling massively into success and outcome joys. So you’re surging towards completion, or success, or relaxation, or clarity — or all of the above — and are almost compete with whatever project or outcome you’re aiming to achieve. What I’m saying is your work is likely almost entirely complete. People don’t contact coaches when they “have a lot of work to commence”; the brave and energized people who contact coaches already have tried change on their own and are likely very effective at, but with just a few fears, glitches, or bumps. A coach helps eliminates, debug, and smooth-out that experience. People don’t contact a lifecoach when there’s this small eeny, tiny imagination way off in the distance of their mind as a fantasy; people contact coaches when a commitment to a state of relaxation, or a desire for a goal, or craving for a certain state has gotten to be overwhelming, or intense, or apparently highly significant. People who contact coaches are highly motivated and already experience emotional validation in SOME form (yes, being a coach is a VERY cool profession because I get the opportunity to interact with incredibly like Apex success people!); people contact lifecoaches when there’s a minute little uncertainty or approach that’s causing a snag on the finishing touches, or feeling overwhelmed with all the work or projects they’ve already courageously commenced, or they need a cool way to look at a challenging project. YOU are the source of your success and always have been. So I mention my experiences and technologies because sometimes one’s personal experiences can help you (a client) traverse the line. If I’ve experienced A to B to C to D and you’re at C trying to get to D, sometimes by sharing my personal experience we can extract a formula that nearly instantly clicks in the “Eureka 80-20 rule, you’re done! Solution moment for you.
As a coach I’ve devoted my life to ensure I have the experiences, technologies, knowledge, pattern recognition, and intuitive listening skills to catalyze MANY of those epiphany success experiences for you consistently. I’d love to work towards many of those moments! So let’s start designing the architecture for your own roller-coaster that you get to design, create, assemble, and RIDE!!! So If you had to list your top three goals described in one sentence each, what would they be?
What Can A Coach Do For You?
Coaching is effective for many reasons including experience, NLP training, advanced change, listening, and transformation skills that the coach possesses. Because of having had a plethora of experiences, your coach can quickly identify patterns that may not be clear to you. Then your coach can help you devise and implement solutions. Alternatively, experience aside, a coach trained in NLP (of which all Validate Your Life coaches are) has precise technologies to expand awareness of your Present State, illuminate more options, assist you in following a set pattern of options, and then install stability in your success outcome. In addition to my own transition, change, and growth experiences, I’ve read over 900 personal development books, I’ve communicated with thousands of individuals regarding their growth challenges, and I’ve interacted with coaches in the field doing this process. Consequently, I have a lot of experience recognizing patterns. There are many problems people are working on that I’ve (1) already solved, or (2) know how to solve in a variety of different ways.
Back to Top
Why Coaching? Risk vs. Reward
The Short Answer: Invest in coaching sessions with Validate Your Life Coaching and Expand. Learn lessons that and growth that improves your skills for the rest of your life! This is an investment that you get to keep for the rest of your life.
- Just a sampling of the perks of coaching:
- Improved health, reduced stress, maximized body-mind mastery
- Chiseled career progress
- Fulfilling relationships comprehension
- Fear dissolution
- Career and Executive crisp progress metrics
- Exponential increase of freedom
- Direct increase of overall choices in life
- Decreased overwhelm
- Increase emotional clarity and intuition skills
- Greater relationship with your inner voice, your inner dialogue
- Dialogue with a professional who holds no agenda but your own
- Direct premium access to the expansion of your happiness and freedom
All of those benefits are yours for life. To keep.
Coaching is an investment in the quality and efficiency of your life.
The Long Answer: Set up a diagnostic phone call and discover and gauge your compatibility with coaching and change.
Invest in the quality and efficiency of your life!
Seriously. Do this. For yourself. For your life.
Back to Top
What’s the Difference Between Coaching and Therapy?
Frankly, conventional psychiatric therapy is destructive and shouldn’t really be classified as a “healing practice”. Read this amazing article on how A Harvard Professor, Dr. Beecher revealed the body’s capacity to create the effect of extremely potent drug chemicals WITHOUT the presence of those drugs. We can create every physiological feeling we desire! Additionally, this article has some great insights into anti-psychiatry. That said, prescriptive drugs and psychiatric disorders aside, the very agenda of conventional therapy is severely destructive and warped. Why? Because therapists focus on the problem; coaching, on the other hand focuses on the solution. If you go to a therapist with substance abuse and parental issues, upon what will the therapist focus? Exactly, the therapy will focus on “where you had the substance abuse and what caused the abuse and how many incidents of abuse” or “how long did the conflict with your parents last” and “what was that like experiencing that addition or that abuse” and problem, problem, and more problem. The result, is an approach that gravitates you to the problem state; precisely from what you want to distance yourself! Our suggestion, scoff at therapy. It represents such a brutally ineffective and grossly outdated method of achieving results.
Coaching in many ways then is the antithesis of therapy. Coaching has no agenda other than the agenda of the client. Coaching is solutions-focused. Coaching revolves around commitment instead of trying, accountability instead of uncertainty; and solutions instead of problems. We could provide the extremely technical detailed complex fully intricate explanation of every nuance of coaching that makes it superior to any other form of “help work” but the bottom-line is simply this: therapy truly does not work; coaching truly does work and actively generates enduring, thorough results.
Unlike in Therapy, Clients Run the Show in Coaching to achieve Their Goals On Their Agenda..
In short, therapists have an agenda. If you go to see a therapist, you will likely end up “having a disorder”! It’s simple. Therapists diagnose disorders, prescribe medications, and therapeutically listen. If you want a “disorder”, some “meds to pickup at Walgreens every week”, and someone who has their own agenda to speak to, get a therapist! If, however, you’d like to experience change results, the transformations you’d like to see in your life, the health goals achieved, all within a safe, and lucid environment of coaching, get a coach!
“Also, the influence of professional training and orientation may play a role in how the process is managed. One participant stated, “The issue of control is about 80% of the therapy.” Another group of participants classified control for coaching as a co-mutual or co-creative process. Coaching is seen as a more collaborative process and more straightforward than therapy. It appears to be an activity that is shared by both parties and not controlled by the coach. The coach will guide the person being coached but will not directly assume responsibility for the outcome. These participants indicated that in coaching, the person being coached would know that he or she is in charge.”
Confidentiality is Higher in Coaching than Therapy
There is actually more confidentiality in coaching. People do not realize that when they submit their bills to their insurance company [for therapy], their information becomes public knowledge. Anyone can access that information at any time. There are also clearinghouses that a savvy person can call to get the addresses of people with a certain diagnoses from their insurance companies. Most people don’t know this. Coaching, on the other hand, reveals no such information and what is discussed between the client and coach stays between the client and coach and does not “leak out” to insurance companies or clearinghouses the way therapeutic confidentiality fails.
I still don’t get it: Why, again, a Lifecoach over a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Teacher, Personal Trainer, Mentor or any other form of help service?
To help you understand the key differences and benefits between lifecoaching and other forms of assistance, let’s use an example: Let’s say you have a reading problem. Pretend that with this problem, you simply can’t focus; you know how to read, but something keeps distracting you and you can’t focus. Great. So what happens when you go to other help services? If you go to a physical trainer, what will he do? He’ll throw you on a treadmill and say, “You can’t read because you need to increase your cardio and need more protein! Run 3 miles and then we’ll do a circuit!” Okay…but what if you already have a consistent exercise routine?! Now let’s say you went to a nutritionist, what would they say, “You can’t read because you’re lacking the core vitamins and minerals; I’m going to increase your intake of omega-3 fatty oils and ginko biloba. Then you should be able to focus.” Okay….What about if you go to a psychiatrist, what will he say? The psychiatrist would flip open is recent version of the Diagnostic Statistic Manual and say, “Well, you could have irritability and inability to focus….do you have trouble sleeping as well? I’ll assume so, and I’ll diagnose you as having an Attention Deficit Disorder. Here’s a prescription for some Ritalin.” Okay…let’s say you go to a teacher, what will they say? “Well, you can’t focus when you read because you haven’t read the previous chapters well enough and you need to do SQ3R, the Survey, Question, Read, Recite, Review. That will increase your reading focus!” Okay…what if you already do survey and read the previous chapters? Now let’s say you read a self-help book on improving your reading and the author loved picking grapes in the field near his house when he was a kid, so all of his remedies involve reading a chapter ang then going to a grape field to pick grapes. “Then you’re reading will improve!” See how ridiciulous those are? What if you already have a good exercise plan, have enough ginko biloba, don’t have ADD, have surveyed the previous chapters well enough, and DO NOT live near a damn grape vineyard?!!” All those remedies work best for the person who prescribed them!! The exercise, sure, could help you, but it also helps the trainer the best. The Ritalin prescription is what the psychiatrist believes would be the best solution, and the grape vineyard is what the peculiar grape-picking self-help author designates as the best solution. Well….what about YOUR solution?!! Isn’t that the most important?!! Yes! Yes, it is. Your own solution to your own situation is the most important. And that’s what lifecoaching does. Lifecoaching utilizes your agenda, your solution. See what was going on with each of those other forms of help? Each professional you go to has a different agenda of THEIR OWN. Each professional prescribes to you THEIR solution from their own field!! What if you neither of those prescription solutions apply to you? Doesn’t that seem ridiculous, almost oddly selfish in a way?? Now let’s say you go to a lifecoach. The lifecoach won’t say anything, but will start with a discussion about the solutions you have an interest in and will recognize patterns of solutions and help you implement what outcome you want using YOUR agenda!” Isn’t that refreshing? It’s more than refreshing, it’s incredibly clarifying and the only path to authentic success.
Does Coaching Create Lasting Results? The Permanence of NLP Coaching versus Therapy
As NLP-practitioners, we have a heightened sensitivity to the inefficacy of therapy. Therapy burrows a client deeper into the problem, whereas NLP and coaching dissects, discombobulates, and ultimately creates an awareness of the present state to achieve the outcome state and thus relinquish the problem state from the patient. What NLP accopmlishes is very complex and scientific and a practitioner cannot accomplish effective NLP coaching by merely throwing around jargon words. A great understanding of the how, the why, and the purpose of techniques must be understood. As a result clients who experience NLP coaching, experience stability and a perpetuation in their success because their outcome states (where a client wants to be in life, career, health, or relationships) has literally “been installed” and that positive result will not waver. Therefore, whereas simple superficial empowerment or thereapeutic techniques, may create a temporary ephemeral positive change, Validate Your Life NLP Coaching literally “installs” outcomes that dont’ just “endure” and last, but change the canvas of a person’s life to literally live one’s dreams!
Back to Top
Life Edification FAQ
1. What credentials do the life edification practitioners hold?
2. The Life Edification Gurus don’t have enough experience!
3. How can a young whippersnapper help me with my problems when I’ve lived from a totally different generation?
4. Don’t some of the Life Edification Gurus appear ‘too young’ to actually help? I am past my middle-ages, almost nearing retirement.
5. Couldn’t you say life edification is just BS? It’s not heart surgery; it’s hokey, mumbo-jumbo, spiritual stuff that doesn’t matter. How could it have an impact?
6. How do you describe this life-coaching business?
7. How could somebody’s words feel more effective than pills, surgery, or traditional medicine?
8. I doubt I’ll feel long-term positive effects like with surgery or “serious” treatments. How could life-edification session just provide anything more than temporary boost?
9. I have SERIOUS issues, like Post-Traumatic Stress, Schizophrenia, Suicidal Tendencies, or Sever Asthma, borderline divorce. How could Validate Your Life coaching help with those SERIOUS issues?
10. Where can I read up on related material to begin this self-awareness journey on my own?
11. Why is self-help life-coaching much more effective than psychology (or, God forbid) psychiatry combined?
1. What credentials do the life edification practitioners hold?
In addition to various survival, academic, NLP practitioner, and coaching credentials, we possess an abundance of relationship, physiological, healing, survival, and happiness experiences and expertise. In reference to relationship advice, some of us have been “married and divorced” multiple times! Others have had long-lasting quality marriages. We possess a diversity of experiences that target your needs. We know ALL the ups and downs! One member of our group has lived and survived in every place imaginable: in the jungle, on sailboats, in other countries, in his car, and on million dollar estates. Others have outlived, and survived crippling life-threatening injuries. One member of our group coached himself through multiple marathons, while writing 5 books, and simultaneously graduating college in three years. For business, we have published multiple sites, lead hiking programs, and apprenticed with multiple top psychologists. We have the skills, the talent, and most importantly the experience to help you engage in a self-dialogue to reach even beyond your goals.
Back to FAQ Contents
- The Life Edification Gurus don’t have enough experience! (See “What credentials do the life edificaton practitioners hold?”)
Back to FAQ Contents
3. How can a young whippersnapper help me with my problems when I’ve lived from a totally different generation?
A fairly bright adult acts with far more intelligent and makes for far better company than the average adult. Besides, remember what the wise philosopher Mencius said, “The great man is he whom does no lose his child’s heart”.
Age does not define experience. Additionally, recent studies proved that cross-generational (a generation Y young adult giving advice to, for example, a baby boomer) generates more revealing and more satiating connections, opening new ideological doorways. Einstein said, ‘The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.’ In other words, we can’t create the solutions of tomorrow with the thinking of yesterday. Besides, would you say that young Tiger Woods was ‘too young’ to play golf even though he putted with Bob Hope at age 3, won the Junior World Golf Championships at 8, and was beating the pros at an early age? Age does not limit experience and healing capacity; in many ways youth extends remedial impact. We find answers to our solutions, paths to our dreams, and the dissolution of our fears in the most unique places. Despite our more youthful staff, many of us have still had lifetimes of accomplishments, ran marathons, traveled the world, had multiple marriages and divorces, nutritiously dealt with serious psychological encounters, drugs, and many of the ‘serious’ problems of the world! We know our stuff!
Back to FAQ Contents
4. Don’t some of the Life Edification Gurus appear ‘too young’ to actually help? I am past my middle-ages, almost nearing retirement. (See “How can a young whippersnapper help me with my problems?”)
Back to FAQ Contents
5. Couldn’t you say life edification is just BS? It’s not heart surgery; it’s hokey, mumbo-jumbo, spiritual stuff that doesn’t matter. How could it have an impact?
In reality, life edification DOES matter to the extent that it even resembles heart surgery (and brain surgery) and can often create more long-lasting impacts than actual physiological surgery, which simply changes our biological hardware. We can still dangerously continue the same patterns that destroyed our delicate body in the first place after surgery. We can’t claim to be certified psychiatrists, nor certified heart surgeons, but we can and do function from a more effective angle of healing, clarity, and inspiration.
Back to FAQ Contents
6. How do you describe this life-coaching business? (See “Couldn’t you say life edification is just BS?)
Back to FAQ Contents
7. How could somebody’s words feel more effective than pills, surgery, or traditional medicine?
The best analogy of life edification is this: If smoking is to hospital and lung cancer is to emergency room, life edification operates as the cognitive hospital to remedy your patterns well before the emergency room, even before the hospital. It’s the first line of defense, the most important reaction system. Your skin creates a remarkable barrier around the body, shielding vital organs from bacteria, virii, and particles, generating an additional barrier with an inflammatory response to seal up wounds with blood platelets. Without our skin we would die. Life edification operates the same way — without serendipitous enlightenment of our personal volition and intrinsic capacity we slip into undesirable patterns. Life edification teaches you to not just sustain but perpetuate the uplifting patterns in your life, leading to long-term happiness.
Back to FAQ Contents
8. I doubt I’ll feel long-term positive effects like with surgery or “serious” treatments. How could life-edification session just provide anything more than temporary boost?
On the contrary, the biological changes serve as minor tweaks to our biological system. Every bodily problem — arthritis, anxiety attacks, throat cancer, stomach cramps, etc. — originates from a patterned cognitive behavior in the mind; sometimes those patterns appear only on the habitual level outside of the awareness realm. By changing those patterns, you create an even more nourishing existence. If you break a bone in your arm, say the ulna, traditional western medicine just seals up your arm in a cast, waiting for your own bodies healing to mend itself. Life edification recognizes that with ANY healing, you — your body, your mind, your focused dreams — always stand at the core of your health, healing, and holistic longevity. Life edification actually accelerates the body-healing process instead of just “waiting” for results to occur.
Back to FAQ Contents
9. I have SERIOUS issues, like Post-Traumatic Stress, Schizophrenia, Suicidal Tendencies, or Sever Asthma, borderline divorce. How could life edification and Validate Your Life help with those SERIOUS issues?
You may feel that traditional medicine serves you best. Your life is on the line. You may have a pattern of believing that putting your “life” — your dreams, your aspirations, and your clarifying intention — in the hands of a plastic vial of pills, or psychiatric ward, or a surgeon’s scalpel. If you honestly feel that those cures serve as your best remedy, this healing will NOT help you! However, if you truly understand your own inner transformational capacity, and believe in the essence of your spirit and physiological mastery, you will outlive, and experience greater success than, anyone who ephemerally and fallaciously solved the same problem with pills, psychiatry, or scalpels. Validate Your Life provides what other medical-healing fields cannot provide — greater confidence, awareness, self-direction. and stability of positive results.
Back to FAQ Contents
10. Where can I read up on related material to begin this self-awareness journey on my own?
Simply check out the “Sources” link (located in the Compass Navigation menu). We have an entire sub-section devoted to related material; links from where you can begin the journey of self-discovery, resilient volition, and abundanct success for free! Additionally, the “Utterances” link contains many scripts, processes, and transformational therapies designed through our own creation.
Back to FAQ Contents
11. Why is self-help life-coaching much more effective than psychology (or, God forbid) psychiatry combined?
All self-help and life-coaching techniques (especially if you get really hyper-advanced) supremely pwn ALL psychologist techniques. Why? Because psychologists make a living by manufacturing a problem (a disorder) and then working with the patient to solve that disorder. You must ALWAYS have a disorder for a psychological remedy work. In short, you’re severely deprived working with psychologists because if you didn’t have a depravity, your vacant relationship with them wouldn’t exist.
With Validate Your Life Coaching, we do work with clients “who believe they have problems” but work wth many clients who don’t even have the slightest sign of a problem, but just want to perpetuate and enhance their success and clarity even more! Now, self-help, nlp, cognitive science, CBT, REMT and other techniques many people at Validate Your Life™ employ, on the other hand, all nourishingly work for you, throughout the solution of your problem and beyond, and then you’re done! No lingering. Best of all, you don’t get treated like a “patient” because you become the doctor who cures yourself! There exists A LOT of hurt-and-rescue manipulative linguistic technology installed in psychiatry. Trust me. I’ve witnessed the abuse and heard many report it. Self-help is just purely the remedy. Secondly, and most importantly, self-help is teaching you how to fish; psychology is just giving you fish. You can repeatedly change your life with self-help techniques. Psychology produces “life recidivism” where you end up drifting back to the psychiatrist for their manipulations.
The bottom-line: self-help works long-term; psychiatry barely works short term. There’s no comparison really.
Back to FAQ Contents
Interaction